Eric Darby...is it true?

[Matt Ernst]

Here it is still April, and I heard that you're already talking smack about Nationals.  Must we go through this every year?  Some lack-witted limey-wannabe once said that April is the cruelest month -- well, if this rumor is true, then April is, indeed, cruel, though August will no doubt be more so.

[Eric]

Those were probably just echoes of last year's smack. My smack is so good it reverberates for up to twelve months.

I haven't even competed in a team semifinals yet. But when I do, I'm sure that more than three people will show up to compete, so I'll have to earn earn my spot on a team.

[Bob Whoopeecat Stephenson]

I heard that echo reverberate all the way from the SM Forum....damn!

[Link]

Well, since I just made Dayton's team I feel completely obligated to start smack talk...of course I'll start with Rust Belt Smack Talk since that's coming up...isn't that right Earnst?

Need to lose Carbs?  Eat a Wolverine!

[LoGic]

after last year, i resolved not to talk smack to Eric Darby or the city of Boston....seeing as Lizard Lounge won our bout with a tribute to Bruce Lee....
and eric well lets just say because of darby many of lansing homeless are well dressed, and i don't have anymore Rain Parkas or Windbreakers...

so this year i'm gonna try something new.. .talking smack to a city that doesn't have a slam team registered....

so hear goes...


Juneo, Alaska!! YOUR ASS IS ANN ARBOR'S!! ..what.. huh.. i didn't hear you... whats that Woodbury, Vermont, you wanna feel the thunder.. huh...? yeah, you too... i dare ya..French Lick, Indiana... say something!! say something!!!

[Matt Ernst]

Fucking French Lick.  I think Larry Fucking Bird's from there.  Hey...didn't he play for BOSTON!?

[Eric]

Fucking French Lick.  I think Larry Fucking Bird's from there.  Hey...didn't he play for BOSTON!?

Sorry, Matt. I can't help you out much on your contrived sports trivia. I don't really follow basketball.

Originally, I wrote a retort involving your mother, a gas station bathroom, and a different kind of "french lick" but decided that it really wasn't appropriate for a public forum. You're swearing and talking smack to somebody who isn't even on a team yet, and it kinda looks like a pitiful plea for attention. And sure, I can keep serving you here on the forum or on the stage in Austin if the bout draw works out that way again, but at least wait until there's a reason before you invite it upon yourself.

[Matt Ernst]

Fair enough, Mr. Serious.

[nopoet]

Maybe this year's nationals can include "the dozens" as a side event. Yo Momma is actually a show on eMpTV these days, so perhaps national caliber poets could do better...

Your momma is such a ho' her bedroom has a change machine...

[Chancelier xero Skidmore]

I prefer to talk smut over smack, but that's just me...or is it?

[Eric]

Fair enough, Mr. Serious.

What do you think that big hole's for???

[Matt Ernst]

Rarely do I literally laugh out loud at a forum message, but you got me there, Eric.  

LOL.

Okay, That was the first and last time I shall ever type those three letters in a row all in caps.  Although the exact quote was, "What the hell you think that big ol' hole is for?"  Man, was St. Louis great, or what?

(Ehem.)

In any event, this very night, the Detroit Tigers came back from five runs down to defeat the Evil Empire in the bottom of the ninth off former Tiger Kyle Farnsworth, avoiding the sweep, because Rivera was unavailable to close after having, get this, injured his back while taking his shoes off.  So the Red Sox regain first place in the East by way of a)a diabolical pair of shoes and b)having the day off.  But what's this it says here on the Tigers schedule I've been known to carry around in wallet every Summer, in place of money?  The Red Sox are coming to town?

By the way.  I heard the Tigers have a pretty good record this year.  It would be nice, though, if they learned how to beat the Sox.  The White Sox, that is.

[Eric]

But what's this it says here on the Tigers schedule I've been known to carry around in wallet every Summer, in place of money?  The Red Sox are coming to town?

Yes, they did. It was nice of the Tigers' bullpen to hand them the key to the city while they were there. That "key" being a 7.56 ERA over the series. How did those guys manage to achieve the best bullpen ERA in baseball? What, did you play Kansas City for seven games already??? Oh, wait--you did.

Little tougher playing outside the Cupcake Division, huh?

[Matt Ernst]

Yeah, the Tigers' bullpen sure did lay an egg this weekend.

But their ERA is not merely the bullpen, it's the best team ERA in Major League Baseball.  (For now.)

Admittedly, they played Kansas City seven times, a team that would have a hard time competing in AA.

But Tampa Bay doesn't seem to me to be a whole lot better, and I think there's a team in the East who has played them TEN times.

Lastly, calling the Central, with four highly competitive teams, one of whom won the World Series last year, the "Cupcake Division" is absurd.  But you knew that.  You were just trying to rile me up.  It worked.

It's a pity the Yankees and the Red Sox are going at it this week, because that means the Tigers/White Sox series will be an also ran.  I will of course be rooting for the Red Sox this week, because the Yankees are the spawn of demons (excluding Derek Jeter, of course, who was misled as a Kalamazoo youth into liking the Yankees), but I won't be rooting for the Tigers.  I think it'll be more along the lines of praying.

[Jared Paul]

This thread needs to be retitled:
"DARBY PwN's a NwB for talking Smack."